How to Improve your Workplace Emotional Intelligence

In this article, we'll outline how you can learn how to improve emotional intelligence, with practical skills you can build to communicate better, lead effectively, and grow at work.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions - and to recognise and influence the emotions of others.

The term was popularised by psychologist Daniel Goleman in the 1990s, building on earlier research by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer. Since then, emotional intelligence at work has become one of the most researched leadership capabilities in organisational psychology.

In simple terms:

• IQ helps you solve problems.
• EQ helps you handle people.

And at work, people are the harder variable.

If you are in the “middle” of an organisation - managing projects, influencing stakeholders, leading a team, or working cross-functionally - emotional intelligence skills are not optional.

They are how work actually gets done.

What Are the Behaviours of People With High EQ?

People with strong emotional intelligence skills tend to demonstrate five core behaviours:

1. Self-Awareness

They know what they are feeling and why.
They can name their emotions without being overwhelmed by them.

Emotional intelligence example:
You feel irritated in a meeting. Instead of snapping, you recognise you’re frustrated because your idea wasn’t acknowledged.

2. Self-Regulation

They pause before reacting.
They respond intentionally instead of emotionally.

This doesn’t mean suppressing emotion. It means managing it productively.

3. Empathy

They can read the room.
They notice shifts in tone, energy, and engagement.

Empathy is not agreeing with everyone. It’s understanding what others are experiencing.

4. Social Skill

They communicate clearly.
They handle tension directly but respectfully.
They build trust over time.

5. Motivation

They are driven by purpose and growth, not just external rewards.
They recover more quickly from setbacks.

These behaviours are what emotional intelligence for leaders looks like in action - but they are equally important for anyone influencing across teams.

Why Emotional Intelligence Is Important at Work

It’s easy to assume technical skills are what matter most. But in most organisations, friction doesn’t come from lack of capability - it comes from:

• Miscommunication
• Defensive reactions
• Unspoken tension
• Poor feedback
• Fear of conflict
• Emotional escalation

This is why emotional intelligence is important.

Research consistently shows that high EQ is linked to:

• Better leadership performance
• Higher employee engagement
• Stronger collaboration
• Lower turnover
• Improved resilience

In practical terms, emotional intelligence at work affects:

• How you give feedback
• How you receive criticism
• How you handle disagreement
• How you influence decisions
• How you lead change

Middle managers in particular sit in a pressure zone - managing expectations from above while supporting teams below.

Without emotional intelligence development, that pressure often turns into stress, reactivity, or withdrawal.

EQ is the stabiliser.

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence

The good news? You can develop emotional intelligence.

It is not fixed. It is built through awareness and practice.

Here are five practical ways to develop emotional intelligence at work:

1. Build Emotional Vocabulary

Many people only use basic labels: stressed, fine, annoyed.

Start expanding your language to recognise your actual emotions:

• Frustrated
• Overwhelmed
• Defensive
• Disappointed
• Uncertain
• Energised
• Hopeful

The more precisely you can name an emotion, the more effectively you can manage it.

Practice: At the end of each workday, ask:
What did I feel today? What triggered it?

2. Insert a Pause

Emotions come on fast.
Thoughtful responses are slower.

When triggered:

• Take one breath.
• Count to five.
• Ask: What outcome do I want here?

That small pause builds self-regulation - one of the most important emotional intelligence skills.

3. Ask Instead of Assume

When tensions rise, assumptions fill the gap.

Instead of thinking:
“They don’t respect me.”

Ask:
“Can you help me understand what your concern is?”

Curiosity reduces defensiveness. It is one of the most practical emotional intelligence examples in action.

4. Separate Intent From Impact

Someone may not intend to undermine you - but their comment may still land poorly.

Emotionally intelligent professionals can say:
“When that happened, I felt dismissed.”

This keeps conversations focused on impact, not accusation.

5. Reflect on Patterns

Emotions are often triggered by past experiences.

Ask yourself:

• What situations consistently activate me?
• What stories am I telling myself?
• Is this reaction proportional to the situation?

This is where emotional intelligence development becomes deeper self-leadership.

Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace: Real Examples

Here are three everyday workplace scenarios:

Scenario 1: Difficult Feedback
Low EQ response: Defensiveness, excuses.
High EQ response: “Thank you. Can you give me an example so I can improve?”

Scenario 2: Conflict Between Teams
Low EQ response: Blame the other team.
High EQ response: Facilitate a conversation about shared goals.

Scenario 3: Leading Change
Low EQ response: Focus only on tasks and deadlines.
High EQ response: Acknowledge uncertainty and support people emotionally through the transition.

Emotional intelligence for leaders especially matters during change. People do not resist change itself - they resist the uncertainty and fear that come with it.

Top 5 Checklist: How Strong Is Your Emotional Intelligence?

Rate yourself honestly:

1. I can clearly name what I’m feeling in stressful situations.
2. I rarely react immediately when upset.
3. I actively listen without interrupting.
4. I can give feedback without attacking the person.
5. I reflect on my own behaviour after difficult interactions.

If you answered “no” to several of these, that’s not failure - it’s a learning opportunity.

Emotional intelligence skills are built through awareness, not perfection.

And even if you scored moderate or high - practice, keeps it present.

Emotional Intelligence for Leaders

If you lead others - formally or informally - your emotional state influences the room.

People take cues from:

• Your tone
• Your body language
• Your reactions under pressure

High-performing leaders are not emotionless. They are emotionally disciplined.

They:

• Stay calm during setbacks
• Express hope during uncertainty
• Show care without losing accountability

This balance builds psychological safety and performance at the same time.

Emotional Intelligence Development Is a Long Game

You don’t “complete” emotional intelligence.

You practise it.

You reflect.
You adjust.
You grow.

In modern organisations - where work is complex, change is constant, and collaboration is essential - technical expertise will get you hired.

Emotional intelligence at work is what helps you progress.

If you want to communicate better, lead effectively, and grow sustainably, start here:

• Notice your emotions.
• Pause before reacting.
• Stay curious.
• Choose your response deliberately.

That is how you improve emotional intelligence - and that is how you build influence that lasts.



. . . . . . . About ACTVO®

ACTVO® brings you both a proven Career Planning System & an Ai-enabled toolbox.  Before building ACTVO® - the self-directed, all-in-one career & skills growth platform - our Founder alone spent more than 16,000 hours using data and behaviouralscience to mentor and guide professionals across industries and geographies, innew and adaptive career strategies. That work revealed a consistent problem:capable people and growing organisations struggle to turn ambition intostructured, sustainable career development.

Understanding this challenge, and how easily careers drift without clear direction and systems, is in our DNA.

That experience is now encoded in ACTVO®. Our platform brings personal career clarity, visible growth planning, learning & skill development and ongoing support into one system -  to help individuals and teams move from loose intention  to consistent planned progress. Improving retention, productivity and lowering of costs.

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